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the protest project

16.11.03

It starts a little but more intense than I call recall right now. The part I can recall begins with me as some sort of consuelor...or minister to people on death row. They are not only on death row, but they are waiting to be called into the room where it all happens. My job is sit with them and talk, listen to them. At first I encounter men. I believe that the first few people had done "crimes" something that "warranted" execution but then people were being executed for stranger crimes: old age being amoungst the strangest. Then the venue of execution changed. It was another room, another building and here I finally encounter my first female execution. I was never taken back by the male executions as much as the female affected me. They were executing females because they were older or somehow undesirable or they had a "diease" that the society didn't want to contend with. So, I bring my woman into the execution room and it is a cot low to the ground with two handsome white young guys on either end. I don't stay because its too hard for me to watch and go outside. As I am walking outside I hear a kind of moan (I guess the woman dying). Oh, also, the woman is kind of agreeing while she is on the table that this execution is the right thing to do. She thinks that the cost of maintaining her while she is old and "sick" is not worth it and that a pleasant drug induced death is the best choice. I am waiting outside and one of the cute executioners comes out because the shift is over. He looks at me and smiles then proceeds to try to get me to do sexual things with him. I don't want to do it at first but I concede. The whole time we are doing it he has this evil little grin on his face..it is clear he is doing this just to get off and has no interest in me what-so-ever. Its a pretty sad dream, overall.

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